How do you describe having a child to another person who has never experienced this journey before? How can they possibly understand? I am grateful I do have a loving family and many friends who have been by my side since the beginning, and parents I know that would have changed places with me in a heartbeat so their baby wouldn’t have suffered so. But the truth is, unless you have had a child in this position, you cannot fully understand the total extent of it.
There are many reasons I wanted to start a blog and write about my experience. I have all these feelings and emotions inside and journaling truly helps me bring them to the surface. Secondly. I wanted to try to bring an understanding to what it’s like to have this type of situation in your life, and maybe I could help someone a long the way, or give you a newfound compassion to this world called addiction. I have learned so much about myself thru this as well as finally understanding what an addict truly is. It’s funny, if you say the word addict, everyone would be able to give his or her own definition. If you have never experienced addiction in your own family, or have never known one, you would have a completely different explanation. I would equate it very closely to someone who has had a baby and someone who hasn’t.
Of course you know it all before you have a baby. It’s so easy to give advice to that person. Heaven forbid, you’ll never have a baby that would disrupt a dinner at a restaurant, or you would definitely make your baby stop crying a lot sooner!!! Yep! It looks so different from that vantage point until you finally have a baby of your own and you realize that you have formed a new definition of the word because of having had a personal experience. Boy…It really does look a lot different when you are on the other side. I guess what I am really trying to say is that you honestly don’t know what it’s like to have a drug addicted child. A lot of the pain you go through doesn’t always have to do with the drug addict themself. There’s a lot of guilt, shame, blame and a real biggie, just trying to explain. This is a really huge area that I would like to delve into, in small chunks at a time.
“What life means to us is determined not as much by what life brings to us as by the attitude we bring to life: not so much by what happens to us as by our reaction to what happens.” ~Lewis Dunning
My child is an addict, from insanity back to me 
Oh Laurie 😉 Thank you for sharing your heart! This is beautiful and I feel so honored that God chose to have you in my BSF group!! I knew from the first time that I met you that I had a connection to you!! I’ve been down this road with my Son Travis and I can really relate to the heartache that this kind of journey brings 😦 But I too experienced God’s love in a way that I never have before. I love this idea of blogging!! I wrote a story about my journey as well and I love to look back and read it to see how God orchestrated so many things during that time! One was my coming to BSF and studying the book of Isaiah! It was so God’s timing!! I look forward to getting to know you more! Thank you again for touching my heart 😉 xxxxoooo
Dear Kim~I feel the same. It’s amazing when you share something so personal, you find out how many people have gone through the same thing. I would love to see what you wrote if you want to share it. I am so glad brought us together through BSF~