October 3, 2012
Reason, Season, or Lifetime
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty; to provide you with guidance and support; to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
— Unknown
Coincidences…nope…..I believe that God orchestrates all things, people at just the right moment, a song, an email. Just something that stops you right in your tracks and you say, “I needed that, thank you God.” Like these coincidences, I would also compare these to God winks as well. My whole life, I have been extraordinarily blessed with these so-called moments. These moments have shaped me into the person I am today. I can’t tell you how often I felt like God put just the “right” person in my life just at that “right” moment I needed it the most. I like to call these people angels God sent me. I think if it weren’t for their intervention at that exact moment, I might have given up. I may go out of order if I mention some of these experiences, but they have all had a profound impact on my life.
Seven years ago when I moved into my neighborhood in Santa Cruz I was suffering from a deep depression. It should have been one of the happiest moments of my life because I was moving into my dream house, the one I imagined and planned for my whole life. But no, a darkness encompassed me. It was the first go around where I felt I lost all control, and just wanted to melt into a hole and never come out. Life was hard, and emotionally, I could not hide the insanity I had with all that was going on with my worry for Brittany. I was good at hiding my feelings, so no one would have ever guessed, but this time the family understood. Lorenza actually packed up our entire house in Aptos so I didn’t have to. I don’t think I could have, even if I wanted to.
Well, we moved in, and a few months later, I heard that a family with 9 kids was moving in right down the street. I was ecstatic. I could hardly count the days, and believe me, I was in countdown mode. I knew exactly what day it was, and I was actually standing in my front yard when Dianne drove down the street arriving from her long drive from North Carolina. I don’t think she had hardly gotten out of her car before I gave her the biggest hug. Mind you, we had never met, and had no idea who I even was. But God did. God had sent me an angel, and we had a very deep connection from that very moment on. We still laugh about it, and are in awe of how God had both of us just where he wanted us. It was no coincidence.
Diane is a very Christian woman, and just exudes God’s love, warmth and comfort. I often wondered why God was so important to her and her life because she was always sharing bible scriptures with me, and personally at the time, it was nice, but I really didn’t care. Yes, I believed in God, loved God, but God was way out there, and I was here. I called upon him only when I needed something. It was always a beg or a plea. But nothing else really. At the time, Brittany was really getting into drugs, and Diane had a son who was living in Florida who had been experimenting with marijuana, but lived in his car. I felt like we had a bond because she could understand what I was going through. I had needed more than anything just someone I could talk to, someone who I could relate to and someone where I could just cry and let it all out.
I can remember Diane asking us to go to church on Sunday’s, and we always said no. My thought was how could I waste a perfectly good day getting up early, when I could sleep in. Believe me the guilt was there, but the motivation was not. At the time, Dianne would host a bible study group at her house with people from her church. She would always tell me that these people were praying for Brittany. That meant a lot to me. But again, I really didn’t get that God had a plan in all this for me. I just didn’t know it yet.
Some time passed. Dianne started inviting the boys to go to a Tuesday night youth group. She would come pick them up from my house and take them and bring them home when it was over. To be honest, I was just happy to have those few hours alone, and didn’t truly understand how valuable this was for the boys. I was in a lot of pain. Oh, what pain. The kind of pain that brings you to your knees. The kind of pain that when I cried, it was almost inhuman like. But just in the midst of one of those terrible moments of tears, my phone would ring, and it would be Diane calling me to give me just a tidbit of God and his love for me and how I was going to be ok. She would just stop and start praying for me, with me. I felt I was being drawn to God, and God was hearing my plea. Yes, there was a God out there that actually heard me, and knew what I needed in that exact finite moment. He gave Diane the exact words I needed to hear. I would cry when I hung up that God did that for me. How did he know that I needed that more then anything in the whole world? She was my angel.
Dianne had been attending Gateway bible church with her family. She told me that the pastor had been in long-term recovery for an addiction and he had a compassion for those who were addicted. She really wanted me to come to church and meet “Fred” and have Brittany talk to him. I was ready. I was willing to try anything I could to help save her. We went to church, and it was wonderful. I felt like God was speaking directly to me. I don’t remember what the message was, but boy, God had that one timed well. But you see, he is faithful, and he always does…you just have to open your eyes and see and listen, and you will hear him. After church, we met Fred. He was around my age, and he was gentle spirited. He wanted to talk to Brittany alone. They spent a good hour together. I am not exactly sure what he shared, but I believe it touched Brittany. She wouldn’t admit it, but I know it did. One miracle came out of this. We went to church, and we loved it. The kids loved it, and we all came away with a message that we could relate to, each in an individual way, but a way that touched our soul to want to come back and hear more. Again, no coincidence. God had a plan for us, and he had a plan for Brittany. This new, and “present” God was introducing himself to us again, but in a new and personal way. And a God that wasn’t way out there, but right here, right in our continuous presence.
One of the biggest gifts that Brittany ever gave us unintentionally was bring our entire family back to church, and what would start as our new walk with God. We realized that all of our priorities in our life were totally in the wrong order. We were living for ourselves and what could make “us happy” not what would make God happy. Because you know, you really are never really happy even when you think you have every material possession in the world you ever wanted. It may be instant gratification. But that is just momentary. Living for God, and changing our priorities brought us joy. And joy is something that just doesn’t last a moment, it is something that just plain lasts. It’s a feeling that just doesn’t go away, and it is so satisfying that you don’t need or want those other material things because they really are not what is important. It was a wonderful new direction God was taking us in, and the most wonderful life changing experience. What is wonderful to say now is that the group Diane hosted at her house, the “life group or bible study” is the same group we belong to today. It’s been probably 5 years, and these people are by far the most important friends in our lives. We can share anything with them, as they do as well. We all have pain and suffering. Some similar, and some very different, but God is present, and we can feel his abundant love and answer to prayer when we gather. I don’t know what I would do without the support of all the people in our group. They are like family. They don’t judge, they love unconditionally, just as God does. Nothing feels better then when you know you have a group of people praying for you.
My child is an addict, from insanity back to me 